A letter to 2018
Earlier this morning I had a text conversation with my sister and she brought up that she feels New Year's "day" doesn't get as much love as New Year's Eve "evening" and then tomorrow begins the new year so we tend to be in a different mindset. We have the whole "new year, new me" attitude. That's all well and dandy but why not give credit to this year too? Why not reflect on all your blessings and give gratitude to the universe for what worked for you. Too often we get so caught up on the negative and the hype of wanting to start a new life for the new year it is almost like a slap in the face to the universe for the gifts it blessed you with within the current year. I won't lie, I have been that person the last few years. I chose to focus on the negative things that I wanted to release instead of being thankful and reflecting on all the good that happened. So here is my letter to the universe for 2018.
Dear 2018, a year of rest and rebooting,
This year had brought me time to think about all the months I had off from work and how much I complained within that time, instead of thanking you for the time off for finding a job position I really wanted and appreciated. I am thankful to my partner who supported me and encouraged me to do this. I am now a manager at a great store which introduced me to so many wonderful professionals, and now one of them has gotten me into building a career in writing. I am living in a position of peace and growth when it comes to work and I am so happy about it.
I am officially a new driver and thanks to my loved one's I was able to get a car. I have more freedom and ability to go on adventures. Plus, I don't have to almost break my arm trying to carry a bunch of groceries on the train. My morning meditations to music and after work reflections are powerful times for me. I am beyond grateful.
I am grateful for the time spent in my apartment and to now live with one of my best friends. This is an opportunity for all of us to save, get ahead, and heal amongst ourselves. We entered into this agreement at just the right time when we all needed each other for different reasons. We aren't alone. The sharing of holidays, dinners, movie nights, and even just saying good morning to one another is special. It is family.
I am thirty and fabulous, a new decade to have more great memories. My solar return and coming back to myself is exactly what this year has given me. I get to step back into my independence. I got to re-evaluate what my needs are and adjust to changes that will do me good in the next year. I get to let all that happened in my twenties that were harmful go. The lessons I learned I can grow from and the wonderful memories I can cherish. I remembered how important my health is and learned it is okay to take small steps forward. To take an easy on myself and saw by example that saying "no" and standing up for myself is so important for my well being. The hardest thing ever is standing up to someone you love and with that breakdown came some great breakthroughs.
Partnership and engagement to a man who teaches me many things. I am learning how much of a healer I truly am. I am happy to learn active listening while dealing with someone who has trouble emotionally expressing himself. I have learned through him what it means to give and what it means to let things just happen organically. In many ways he has taught me the meaning of surrendering to the universe and also when to step into my power. Our fights showed me times of triumph because we got through them together, each and every single time. I have also learned the beginning stages of patience, in past relationships my temper was not the best and with him we get to practice it together in different ways. Patience is a virtue after all.
Time spent with family, especially with my grandparents, over the holiday season is a such a blessing. I don't even have to say much except just thank you. Thank you so much, 2018. I got to spend time with them and see them. I see so much of how I was created and who I am through them. I am appreciative for all they have done for our family, what they have done for my parents, and for how they raised me to be a tough woman. As for my chosen family, my friends, all the support I received from them. All the laughter and great times I got to have with them. If I had to go back in time and be bullied all over again, just to be blessed with the abundance of great people in my life I have now, then I would go back and be bullied all over again. Thank you, my loves. You all know exactly who you are.
Last but not least, thank you 2018 for the most important blessings of forgiveness and love. To live and be love. To forgive myself and forgive others. To peel through the onion layers of my traumas and triggers and be able to work through them . Love is everything. Love for myself, getting to know myself and what my love language has developed into. It truly has been a blessing. To understand my cycles of highs and lows, to understand why my body has had some serious changes. To hear my body crying out for me to love it. I hear it, I hear my spirit. I am LISTENING. I am here. I am working through it. I get to heal myself and forgive myself. I get to release others. I get TO SAY NO. I get TO HAVE TIME FOR MYSELF. I am happy to have made the decision to stop smoking marijuana, to stop eating pig and cow meat, to stop drinking for other than special occasions. I am happy to indulge in what makes me happy and explore what it means for me to experience self love. I wouldn't have been able to truly appreciate that unless this was a year for rest. I got to reflect and re-boot. So thank you!
With so much love,
P.S. taking a social media break for ninety days was fucking amazing! Everyone should do that at least once a year. I thank myself for making that decision so props to me!